With all that being said, on my Monday night ride I had a word pop into my head, that word is "heart". I have not been able to shake that word since I first thought it. I have been thinking about what it means to me, do I have it, if not how do I get it? I remember watching Rocky 2 and Rocky is challenged by Clubber Lang, and Clubber Lang says Rocky isn't a real champion. Apollo Creed is training Rocky and tells him that he needs to get the "Eye of the Tiger". You know that desire to win, that hunger and need to beat any opponent. I know that I haven't been racing with that emotion. My motivation has been to do better than I have ever done before. Tri-atheletes call this a "p.r." or a "personal record". I wonder if I will ever get that real desire to win or if I will just keep going along trying to beat my P.R.? Do I even need that desire to win at all cost? Will it make my training more effecient? Lots of questions in my head right now. I do know that I love cycling and I love all the things I have accomplished including all the psychological things I have over come. One being the fear of competing in front of people knowing that I may be judged. It is funny all the things that we can carry in life not knowing, things that may seem insignificant to others but to some it means avoiding certain situations in life. I only wish I had conquered that one earlier in life. Cycling has given me the medium to over come many of my lifes obstacles. For that I love it even more.
|These pics are from Jon Peck and they are my faves so far.|