This is something I have been thinking of writing for a while. I was spectating at one of the Perry Dam races. A few of us were sitting on a guard rail watching the women race. At one point in the race there was a small group of riders maybe 3 or 4 of them pedaling up the long inlcine, I took real notice of the second to last rider in the group because she was crying, that's right she was crying with her mouth wide open and everything. I can only assume she was crying from the pain she was going through on the climb and maybe to stay with the pack. That image has stayed with me and I frequently replay it in my mind. I admire that person. She wasn't about to surrender to the pain just yet. I am also jealous of her, I surrender to my pain way too easily. My pain has control over what I do, it constantly puts limitations to what I can and will do. Don't get me wrong, I have improved from the time I first got on a road bike, I am much faster now than ever before but I feel like I could be faster and I could improve quicker if only I would be willing to quiet the little voices in my head that tell me to "slow down", and "why do you even bother", and "is all this pain really worth it". Without pushing myself too far from my "Comfort Zone" I will improve slowly. Last night at Thursday Night Worlds, There came a point where I was trying to jump back into the group, I was really srtuggling to latch back on when I heard a fellow teammate Joe say something like " dig deep James, push yourself". That gave me the extra little push I needed and I was able to hang-on for a few laps. I only wish I always had someone right there coaxing me a long. Kind of like a drill sergeant breaking me down only to build me back up stronger and faster. That is one of the main reasons why I ride with guys who are all faster than me. This forces me to push myself. I am very lucky to have joined a team that does nothing but encourage its teammates, no one has a bad thing to say and I genuinely like everyone. I am going to try and start working on that little inner voice from now on and see if I can't get it to become an optomist.
If you see me out there and I am struggling, don't hesitate to yell some words of encouragement.
Every race I do seems to lessen my death-grip on pain avoidance. It's an acquired taste, and takes awhile.
ReplyDeleteYou just have to know that you aren't going to die out there. Your heart isn't going to explode. You will recover (feel non-death-like) only minutes after your short race. These are things one must master before actually improving your physical capabilities.
Pain and quitting are mental things, and your body is capable of way more than you think it is, even in an untrained state. Like mine!
I just get louder than the voices.
ReplyDeleteJames thats something I've been working on as well and this past weekend I felt like I had quite a breakthrough...instead of listening to "those voices" I made my own...lots of self talk like "Ok Aubree if I'm hurting, so is everyone else" or "ok, you can do this another 25....15...10...8 minutes...you can do anything for 5 minutes". And it hurt, but I remind myself "if it's not hurting, you aren't going fast enough". We are in a sport that pretty much measures pain threshold, whomever can hurt longer and deeper is going to win. So really when it comes down to it, yes, it IS worth it and like Chris said, you aren't going to die from it, you will recover...and once you keep working through the pain, it becomes less, as your threshold increases! Keep it up...if you can train your mind to endure, then you're 80% of the way there! :)
ReplyDelete-Aubree